This is how we do it
by Emo Boo Bunny
Summary: The life and trying times of a modern-er Ozai and Ursa.
1. Chapter 1

_This is a Semi-Modern AU starring a teenage Ozai and Ursa. Also making an appearance Azulon, Ilah, Iroh, Lynn (Lin), Lu ten, Hu-zhan and Illiana._

_Year-1989_

Ozai sat up and looked around the room trying to figure out what happened last night. He looked down and saw a green pushup bra lying on the floor next to a pair of pink boy shorts. The bathroom door opened and a blond came walking out and the memories came flooding back to him.

"_Ozai honey I hope you don't mind us having to leave." his mother said_

"_It's fine."_

"_Well happy seventeenth birthday baby boy."_

"_Mom I'm seventeen not seven."_

"_Iroh, Lynn , and Lu ten will be back tomorrow."_

"_Joy." Ozai mumbled under his breath_

_Ilah left out the door, soon after Azulon came up and grabbed Ozai _

"_If my whiskey is less than half full when I get back I'm busting your ass."_

"_What about the vodka?"_

"_It's Iroh's."_

"_He never drinks the stuff."_

"_Don't let your mother know."_

"_Wouldn't dream of it."_

_With that Azulon left._

Iroh was due back at to the house by twelve-thirty and it was twelve sharp. Ozai looked at the blond and said leave. She huffed got her things and left. Ozai had twenty minutes to clean up. When he got downstairs it was clean, Ozai was scared because that meant one of two things.

His parents decided to take the jet so they could come home early

Or

Iroh was home early.

Seeing as how the house was clean, he guessed that it was the latter. Not surprisingly Ozai was right, Iroh walked into the living room arms across his chest and his face red.

"Do you have any idea how many kids I had to wake up, or how much vomit cleaned up, or how I got to explain the naked woman in the bathroom?"

"I'd say seven kids, three piles of vomit, and you said when you're older." Ozai smirked

"It's was four piles smart-ass."

"Oh no, you covered my ass! How many times have I done that for you?"

"Not enough."

"What?"

"You're girlfriend is in the living room."

"Shit."

True to Iroh's word when Ozai walked into the living her saw Ursa Dao of Dao Corporations sitting on the loveseat with a tear-stained face.

"Ursa, are you alright?"

"What's her name?"

"Who?"

"The blond who spent the night, thats who!" screamed Ursa

"I don't know babe, all I know is that she was fully clothed sleeping on my floor when I woke up, and all I could think about was how much I missed you." Ozai offered a smile hoping she would buy the lie.

"Promise?"

"Of Course." another lie

"Lets go out for lunch."

-Ursa

Ozai hopped into my car and we sped off down the road to go get some Burger King.

"Ozai, how long do you see us together?"

"As long as you keep my sorry ass."

I smile, because thats just what I want to hear.

"Looks like you're staying for a while."

"Good."

I look at the ground and take a deep breath... I don't know how to tell him so it is best just to come out with it...

"Ozai"

"Yes?"

"I'm..."

"You're what?"

"Uhm..."

"Hungry? 'Cause we are at the drive though."

"I'm pregnant."

"_Congratulations ma'am would you like some fries with that?" _

"We will take two large fries and two milkshakes, chocolate ones." Ozai said

"Really Ozai?"

"What you wanted vanilla?"

"You don't care that i'm pregnant?"

Ozai looked at me like I was stupid

"Since when are you pregnant? Who's the father? I'm going to kick his ass!"

"Ozai I told your five minutes ago, you are the father nimrod so have fun kicking your own ass moron."

Ozai smiled at me with the silliest smile ever

"Ursa, the baby doesn't want you to have a milkshake, so you should give me yours."

"Oh really how did you know?"

"My fatass senses are tingling."

He reached out and began to tickle me and of course the girl working drive though come and says

"Sorry were all out of huggies might want to try again some other time"

we took our food and drove off back to Ozai's house.

-_In the next chapter Azulon and Ilah find out... please review :)_


	2. Chapter 2

_At the Ren House (Ozai's home) _

Ozai and Ursa sat on the couch waiting for Azulon to join the rest of Ozai's family in the living room, minus Lu ten. They looked at each other nervously while holding hands and taking very deep breaths. Azulon came into the living showing what seemed to be a less than half full bottle of whiskey and wearing an expression of anger.

_'Shit' Ozai thought_

"So everyone I am sure you all are wondering why we asked you to gather in the living area." started Ozai.

Everyone looked at him as if saying hurry up and get it out already.

"I bet you are especially curious on how this involves my girlfriend Ursa."

"We don't care about your girlfriend you little shit, just hurry up and tell us what is going on." Said Azulon

Ursa and Ozai looked at each other for a moment

"Ursa wants to tell you."

Ursa shot Ozai a look so nasty it could have curdled fresh milk.

"Your son is a whore and he got me pregnant." she rushed

"I am not a whore!"

"Her name is Sophia, it was written on the board in your room."

"Oh..."

"Wait so your telling me that my little brother is going to be a father." injected Iroh.

For the first time since saying anything Ursa and Ozai look at Ilah, Azulon, Iroh, and Lynn.

Ilah was frozen though Ozai is sure if is with sadness or anger.

Azulon is redder than he was before.

Iroh was confused... and Lynn wasn't really paying attention.

"Yes Iroh I'm going to be a father."

"How far along are you my dear?" Ilah choked out

"The doctor said right about three months ma'am"

Ilah look at Ozai.

"You better be getting your ass in gear real quick, because if you don't it will the biggest mistake you have ever made. Understood son?

"Yes mother, I understand."

"Good, now Ursa dear why don't you come with me so we can talk."

"Yes ma'am."

After Ilah and Ursa left Iroh and his wife scurried out and went upstairs to find Lu ten.

"So, son do you see this whiskey bottle?"

"Yes father."

"Do you see my dilemma?"

"Yes sir."

With that Azulon put the whiskey bottle down stepped forward and smacked Ozai straight across the left side of his face. Ozai lost his footing a little, but caught himself and began to rub his cheek.

"Now I am letting you off easy,only because you seem to like to cause your own misfortune."

Azulon began to leave the room

"Dad, what do I do?" Ozai whispered

Azulon looked at Ozai

Azulon looked at his son and for the first time in a long while he saw the scared confused child that always used to run to him and Ilah when something happened.

Azulon stepped forward and pulled his son into an strong embrace, which is when Ozai broke down and began to cry.

"Dad I don't know how to be a father."

"You never know how, you do things and hope you aren't messing your children up. It's not easy." he whispered into Ozai's ear.

Ilah peeked into the room to see what was going on in there, Azulon gave her a look and she left and went back to discussing arrangements with Ursa. Ozai looked up at his father with a tear-stained face

"Thanks dad."

"There is no need, but don't yet anybody know about this... I have a reputation as a hardass to uphold." Azulon said while wiping away the few tears Ozai had left.

"Yes sir."

"Good, now go talk to that girlfriend of yours." Azulon said, then he gave Ozai a none to gentle slap on the rear causing him to jump.

"Ow, that hurt." Ozai said while rubbing the offended area

Azulon offered him a crooked grin

"Good game."

Ozai snorted and left for the kitchen to see Ursa

Ursa was sitting there listening to Ilah talk about marriage or at least engagement

"We can get your parents permission correct?"

"Yes ma'am"

"Good girl, now you want to tell me the truth?"

"What?"

"How far along are you honestly?"

"I don't know what you mean"

"My dear you wear and extra small and that is probably and large at the smallest.

"Uhm about five ma'am."

"why didn't you say that?"

"I didn't want to frighten Ozai."

They heard a thud and looked on the floor to see Ozai , who had fainted and they weren't exactly sure what to do, so they called in Azulon.

"What happened?"

"She is further along than she said."

"What?!"

"Yes sir, I'm five months along."

Ilah called for Iroh, he rushed down to help as he and his father moved Ozai up to his room."

"That went better than I expected."

_Next time Ozai has a panic attack, Azulon is still an asshat, Ilah burns dinner, Ursa has to move in and Lu ten learns some... fancy words..._


End file.
